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The wild crane, the old and cranky one near the bay, watch the water line dip lower and lower every year. Instead of working hard to catch a few fish every day in a deep pond, he waited. Patiently. He watched the waters evaporate from the now shallow pond and saw the booming schools of fish starting to panic. He smiled to himself, knowing his long-awaited moment was almost here.
"I don't know what much else we can do, sir," said Lole, the wisest fish in the pond.
"I've never seen anything like it," said Boe, the oldest fish in the pond. "My old eyes may not see, but I can feel myself suffocating. I can feel us all sinking."
The crane knew it was time on the hottest day of the summer. He flew over to the rushing river, dipping his beak into the fresh water and scooped some up in his mouth. He made his way back to the shallow water and waited until the fish stopped scurrying around his legs. Then he splashed the fresh, cool water right onto the fish.
Lole froze, unable to understand the sensation he hadn't felt in years.
"Crane, tell me now where you got that water. It has not rained cool water in weeks!."
The crane thoughts slowly, forming his words around the misunderstanding of the fish. They knew nothing but the pond. They had no clue of the outside rivers and lagoons swarming with life and swelling with water.
"Would you like to come see for yourself," asked the crane, causing an immediate uproar from the warm schools at his feet.
Despite the warnings, Boe swam forward to the crane.
"Take me there to see, " Boe declared. He turned to the fish and announced, "if I do not return, do not trust the bird."
The crane took the fish up gingerly in its beak and off they went.
The bird flew high over the river and lakes, but even the old fish's eyes see the fresh waters streaming down the marshy grass. Tears of joy fill his blurry eyes as they made their way back to the pond. Boa began to rejoice before he was even back in the water.
"It's true! It's true! Our salvation!"
The rest of the fish joined in his joy, hope growing in their hearts and fins.
"Now wouldn't you all like to move to the fresh, clean water now?"
"Of course," said Boe, the first to swim up to the bird again. "Take me first, for I don't have that long."
Boe's solemn words hung in the air as the crane nodded before scooping him up once more.
"I will return soon for the rest of you," announced the crane before taking off.
Boe felt the cool air again, a small smile appeared on the crane's beak.
"What amuses you," asked Boe.
"You," said the crane, before he opened his jaw and gulped down the weary, old fish.
He laughed heartily to himself before flying back to the shallow pond. The fish were elated to see him, ecstatic to jump into his beak to fly up to the bright sky and then down to his dim stomach.
The crane took his full time, picking up every fish to the alleged promise land before gulping them down whole. After checking every rock and weed in the shallow pond, he sat in the warm water. He smiled to himself, beaming with pride at his own work. Suddenly, he saw bubbles arise from the wet soil from the swampy pond flood. It startled him but he stayed as the young crab revealed himself.
"Hello, I'm Foly."
The crane nodded at him groggily, feeling the weight of his full stomach.
"I would like a ride. I heard what you said to the fish. The pond is becoming too rancid for me too. Please, sir, will you take me to the other waters?"
The crane giggled, looking at his fresh dessert and nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course, Foly, hop into my beak."
Foly hesitated, knowing that this stranger could not mean that well that quickly.
"May I hold onto your neck instead? So I know you cannot hurt me?"
The crane rolled his eyes but nodded.
"Fine."
Foly jumped on, pinching gently on the crane's neck as they began to fly. He flew with the bird with joy, seeing the fresh pond come into view. Yet it was empty. As the crane lowered himself down to the crab's new home, no fish came into view. Even after the cran had landed, Foly didn't let go.
"Where are all the fish? Did you bring them here? To the same pond?"
The crane chuckled, shaking his narrow head slowly.
"They all saw this beautiful pond. Before, of course, I swallowed them. What does it matter?"
The rage grew in the young crab's heart, year of memories of the fish flashing by him.
"They were my friends."
And then Foly pinched, letting his clipped slice through the crane's throat.
"And now I don't have any."
Author's Note:
Hello! I recently read the story "The Cunning Crane and the Crab" and I loved the idea of the trickster being tricked. After reimagining the storyline and, hopefully, added depth by describing the characters' emotions and motions.
Story Source:
The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India by W. H. D. Rouse. Web Source.
Hi, Reety! I really enjoyed reading your story. Your use of descriptive language is exquisite! It transported me right into the story. It was like I could see and feel everything that the character’s were feeling. I liked that the crabs character was very faithful to his friends too. That being said though, I feel like his character kind of comes out of nowhere especially since you mention at the end that he has all of these memories with the fish. I wonder if maybe you could introduce him just a bit earlier in the story? Maybe he could notice that one of his friends is missing or maybe he thought he heard their cry for help across the way. That way the reader could have a little bit more time to adjust to the character. I also feel like the story stopped a little abruptly. You do an amazing job of describing all of these details and plot points and then the story just ends so quickly! I’d love to get a chance for the crabs anger to build so that way the conclusion makes sense for the crab’s character. Overall though I thought you did a really great job! Definitely one of my favorite stories that I’ve read so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Reety!
ReplyDeleteI also did a story about the Cunning Crab and the Crab, but rather than retelling, I wrote a sequel to it. I loved that you gave names to the fish, crane, and crab. It helped me determine each character. When I wrote my sequel, I including siblings but did not give them names. Instead, I called them Brother Crane. But I felt like it may have gotten confusing to some people without names, so I appreciate that you did that. You also retold it in a new way and gave the characters more personality.
With of the new names and personalities, I feel like you could easily write a sequel to this story that would be more interesting because it would be completely new. Would the crab still be there hero in the new sequel?
The main question I asked myself when reading this story is how is the crabs actions justified? If we say he is right in killing the crane, that is just an eye for and eye. In a modern world, those rules do not apply, so it makes it hard for me to see the crab as a hero.
Hi, I loved your version of the story. I wanted to read your story because I also chose to write about the cunning crab and found it interesting to see how someone else wrote about it. I think you gave the characters more humanistic feelings than the original and I really liked that. I liked in the end that you really made it be more about vengeance than just for the crab wanting safety for himself.
ReplyDeleteHey Reety! I really enjoyed reading your version of "The Cunning Crane and the Crab" story. It was one of my favorite stories when we were assigned the reading assignment, so I got excited when I started reading through your story and recognized which story you were retelling. I liked how you kept the general storyline but made it more descriptive and detailed. I also liked how you gave the crane, the fish, and the crab names as well! My favorite part of the story is how loyal the crab is to his fish friends. You still portrayed the crab in this way but I felt like his character was introduced to the story very abruptly. Is there a way you could give him a little introduction in the story before he has a dialogue? I also didn't like how the story ended. I do not think its morally right to kill someone for their wrongdoings. Other than that, the story was well-written!
ReplyDeleteHi Reety! I really enjoyed getting to go back and read one of your earlier stories! I thought this story was very entertaining and clever. You use descriptive details very well and it allowed me to visualize what you were writing. I love animal stories and thought it was cute how loyal the crab was to his friends. Overall, great job on this story!
ReplyDelete